A look ahead for Jacqui Smith

Slowly Jacqui Smith woke up. It had been a long day before plotting how to use the Civil Contingencies Act, the Regulation and Reform Act or some other piece of legislation that they had said they where never going to use when it was enacted to do away with the need for the impending 2010 elections. They were going to loose these elections, the polls had been saying this for years, so the elections where a problem and had to be got rid of. She was sure that the electorate would thank them for it, the ones that counted anyway.

She had so many residences now, all bought for her by the taxpayer, that it was hard to keep track but she was sure that this was not the same one that she had gone to sleep in. She was spot lit in the middle of a large auditorium, rank upon rank of the audience stares down at her from the shadows. Her naked body was suspended and spread wide by a set of leather straps. Beneath her squatted a complicated machine built from chromed hydraulic rams supplied by black rubber hoses. Out of the corner of her eye she sees a middle aged couple approaching. They were wearing his and hers gimp suits and carrying a large object covered in a PVC cloth.
"I guess we should thank you really, we would never have meet all of these, our new friends, where it not for the UK Criminal Justice Act 2008. Since this ludicrously broad ranging legislation banned everything but the blandest state approved pornography we decided to gather some friends together for some live action fun." The man explains.
"Unfortunately denied the blessed relief of porn people have become a bit more frustrated and their tastes ... How shall I put this? ... Have become a little more interesting. You might have realised this would happen had you actually looked at the evidence rather than coming to your conclution and then commisioning the most biased people that you could find to write a report that would fit your prejudices." His wife continues. "That is why it is you that is strapped up there rather than somebody that enjoys these kind of things, and I can assure you ... you will not enjoy it."
Cheers erupted from the audience as, with a flourish, the dildo was uncovered. It was two feet long, and made of gritstone. None too gently the dildo was forced past the scabrous lesions of her cracked and fetid cunt, then the hydraulics were set to work.

The sticky sounds of mass pleasure drowned out her screams as oh so very, very, slowly the Minister was filed in half.